Heartless
by Mita427
Summary: What if the one thing that Spike had left was taken away from him?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Buffy swooped her leg around to land a nice kick to a newly risen vampire's head. The vampire reeled back and almost crashed into the tombstone of the grave that it had just come out of. What a way to start an unlife, huh? Buffy took advantage of the stunned vampire and quickly kicked it once more, which made him clear straight through the tombstone it was so carefully avoiding.

"Oops, I hope that wasn't too expensive," Buffy quipped as she put a dramatic hand over her mouth.

The vampire outraged, clumsily got up and pointed a dirty finger at his enemy, "Slayer, you're dead!"

The vampire then bent over and charged head on into Buffy who caught the vampire's head under her arm but she couldn't stop him. The vampire pushed her along as fast as he could until the slayer's back painfully smacked into a tree. Buffy's eyes widened, as the wind was completely knocked out of her and she frantically pushed the vampire away from her. The conniving vampire then gave Buffy a taste of her own medicine and kicked her when she was down. She grabbed her stomach and fell face first onto the cold grass of the cemetery. Before she knew it, she felt two sharp fangs graze her neck and she stopped cold in the vampire's uncomfortable grasp.

"How does it feel, slayer?" He breathed into her neck, way too close for her liking.

She refused to answer. Her instincts were going haywire, everything inside of her was telling her to fight back, but she couldn't maker herself move. Being in this position scared the crap out of Buffy and it wasn't doing her any good.

"Tell me, slayer. How does it feel knowing you're going to die?" The vampire hissed.

The vampire couldn't have known what affect this would have on a slayer because she knew that feeling all too well. She had already cheated death twice, what's one more time?

A sudden blast of air and a sprinkling of dust jolted Buffy out of her thoughts and back to reality. She placed her warm face onto the cool grass, helping her calm down.

"You need to be a little bit more careful there, Slayer," Spike said as he watched her lay on the ground.

Buffy reluctantly pushed herself up, purposefully ignoring the alabaster hand that stretched out to help her.

"Wouldn't want some little weakling takin' you down. Wanna go out in blaze of glory, yeah?" Spike continued as he watched her dust herself off.

Buffy gave Spike a stern look before placing her stake back in the waistband of her jeans. She stared at him for a second, and then changed her mind as she shook her head and began walking in the opposite direction.

"Been there, done that. Go away, Spike," She said tiredly.

"No thank you for saving your life? Again?" He asked as he followed her, probably something that she didn't want him doing, "Maybe next time I won't be there to save your pretty arse."

She stopped in her tracks and looked over her shoulder, "Maybe next time I won't need saving."

Spike's footsteps stopped right behind hers and he mustered the courage to stand right behind her, not touching but pretty close to it.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Spike genuinely asked.

"No," was he immediate reply.

"Buffy," Spike gently turned her towards him with his hands on her shoulders, "You can't keep this all bottled up inside. You've got people worried about you; that care for you. Just want you to be happy, is all."

"Spike, please, not now," Buffy earnestly replied, "I've had a hard day at the Doublemeat Palace and I just don't want to talk about it."

"Why are you avoiding this, Buffy?" Spike said, clearly becoming more concerned and frustrated over the slayer that was shutting him out, "You died."

"Don't you think I know that?" Buffy almost shouted through clenched teeth, "And now I'm back! It's some kind of cruel joke! How am I supposed to tell my friends that they ripped me out of heaven, Spike?"

Spike's gaze switched from Buffy's to the ground. He hated talking about her death but it was getting out hand. She was shutting out her friends, her family, and no one could do anything but watch because they just wanted to give their friend what she wanted, some space. But when does some space turn into too much space? She was a shell of a person that she used to be and Spike could see her deteriorating in front of his blue eyes. And he wasn't going to lose her again, not if he had anything to do with it.

"They think they've done something heroic! Saving me from the depths of hell or whatever is stuck in their heads. But they've just committed the ultimate betrayal, Spike," she quieted, "They never let me rest."

Spike looked over at the slayer and found her looking completely defeated. Her shoulders slumped and her hands clasped as her waist. Her head was bowed as if in mourning and she never looked more vulnerable. Spike took a tentative step towards the slayer and he placed a finger under her chin and slowly eased her into looking into his icy blue depths.

"You can rest whenever you want, love," Spike told her, "You don't have to be a slayer all the time. You can just be Buffy, too, you know. Your friends miss her. The person you used to be. Just let your hair down and forget about the worries."

She nodded ever so slightly. He took an unneeded breath and kept going.

"And," he hesitated, "And you know I love you, right?"

Buffy was still, no reaction at his words. Spike was just happy she wasn't repulsed by the thought as usual.

"And if there's anything you need, you know I'll go 'round the world to find it," Spike promised her with a smirk.

His love was never ending, she could feel it. But at the same time the feeling terrified her. How could a monster be the way that Spike is? He was unique that was for sure, but loving and gentle? Those words weren't the first thing that came to her mind when his name was brought up into the conversation.

"Just say the w-" Spike began again but was cut off.

He was cut off by Buffy's lips crashing into his and all coherent thought was lost. Buffy finally got what she needed, if only it was for a little while.

**Chapter 2**

"Ugh, why do 15th century guys have to be so boring?" Dawn asked no one in particular as she shut her history textbook.

Dawn was getting used to spending a lot of time at The Magic Box since work just seemed so much more interesting to Buffy. She would come after school to do her homework and slowly the others joined in and kept the littlest Summers company, as well as safe. She couldn't help but be angry at being neglected. Dawn knew that Buffy was going through a rough time, but the least she could do is spend some time with her. With Buffy working at the Doublemeat Palace, Dawn was getting closer to the gang, while Buffy was getting farther and farther. At least Dawn's grades were getting a little better.

"Because they have small-" Anya began as she was checking out her nails.

"Bladders!" Willow shouted as she slammed her book down.

She shot Anya an annoyed glare but it didn't have any effect on the ex-demon as she continued lulling in her own business.

"What do bladders have to do with anything?" Dawn asked as she passed a strange look between them.

Willow nudged Xander hard in the ribs while made him yelp in pain before he answered, "Uh, they have everything to do with anything, Dawn," His eyes shifted and his arms started moving with flailing gestures, "See, guys with small bladders have to pee at the time, right? So, um, when they all go out to those dance thingies …"

"Balls," Anya provided.

"Yeah, balls," Xander coughed, "The girls got mad because the guys would always have to pee all the time while they were having a good time. Hence, small bladders make for boring 15th century guys. See! It all makes sense!"

Dawn's eyebrow quirked in suspicion. The gang tried to be good role models for her, but sometimes their explanations were out there. Any Anya's bluntness didn't really help them much.

"Yeah, right," She replied, making the Scoobies sigh out of relief, slightly.

The gang was trying to do their best to keep Dawn out of danger. Being the surrogate's surrogate wasn't easy though. They had to be happy when the circumstances definitely weren't. They were truly missing their friend and they wanted to do everything that they could to make sure that she was going to be alright and that she got everything that she needed. If Buffy needed space, she got space. But, when does a little space turn into too much space? When do you tell you friend that what she wants isn't what she needs? And this wasn't just some pesky matter, this was huge. Buffy came back from the dead. It's not like she just came back from vacation or something. It was a completely different matter and no one knew the best way to handle it.

Before things settled down again, the door jingled as it was opened and Anya rushed to greet her customer.

"Welcome to the Magic Box!" She said cheerfully, "Please send your money – oh, it's only you."

The gang turned to see who entered only to be surprised by Buffy. Her nervous expression and fidgety hands showed that it had took a lot out of her to come here and now that she was, there was no turning back.

"Hey guys," Buffy quietly said.

"Buffy," Willow said as she went to hug her friend, "I thought you were working a double?"

"I was," She answered, "But I, um, decided to skip it. I wanted to spend some time with you all."

For once Buffy decided to take Spike's advice and just take some time off. She let down her hair, literally and it flowed freely around her face. She had to admit it made her feel better and it seemed to lift her mood as well. Her friends would support her no matter what, right?

She looked at her friends' faces before she continued on, "I know things haven't been so great lately and I'm sorry. It's just hard readjusting to everything and I think it's going to take some time. But I want you guys to know that I'm going to try really hard to be here. I want things to get better."

Xander stepped forward and gave his best friend a hug, "Anything you want, Buffy, we're here for you."

"Thanks, Xander," Buffy said after he pulled away, "Dawn, if you want, we can go shopping later."

Dawn scoffed, "Wouldn't that require money?"

Buffy's hurt was evident on her face as she cringed, "Oh, uh, yeah."

But Dawn's wall didn't hold up much longer, her guilt was stronger than her pride, "How about we go window shopping?"

Buffy sighed and let out her relief, "Yeah, it'll be fun."

Dawn enveloped her sister in a tight hug, "I love you, Buffy."

"I love you, too Dawnie, I love you too," Buffy replied as she ran her hands through her sister's hair and now she knew that things were definitely going to get better.

**Chapter 3**

"Why do you always have to leave, pet?" Spike asked as he grazed his soft lips in the crook of Buffy's neck.

"Because," She answered, trying to sound the least bit affected by his doings.

"Because I said so!" Buffy burst.

Spike's head shot up and he gave her a look. Her cheeks blushed a nice tinge of red as her embarrassment settled in. Spike couldn't help but think of how cute his slayer looked like this. All sweaty, and of course not from slaying, and in his bed. He was finally getting what he had wanted all this time, but it was different. She wasn't making love to him; she was just having sex with him. He knew Buffy was just doing this to deal with her feelings, but he just wanted to give her what she wanted. It was a well known fact that Spike would do anything for her and if she wanted his body, he would give it to her.

She went on to amend her sentence, "Because I have people who really care about me and who love me and I should get back to them."

"Who says you aren't loved here?" Spike countered.

She sighed, "I do."

"Buffy," Spike called as she got up from the bed.

"Don't," was all she said as she started gathering her things.

From one corner to the crypt to the other Buffy gathered every article of clothing that was haphazardly taken off after she stormed into Spike's crypt. She found a sock on the couch and another one on the fridge. Her pants were by the door and ironically her shirt was near the hatch. Her clothes were back on her body and lastly she slid her boots on small feet.

"Goodbye, Spike," Buffy said as she shut the door behind her and left Spike to drown in his thoughts.

Spike stretched his arms out and lay comfortably back on his bed, hands folded neatly behind his head, "Why can't you love me, Buffy? Why?"

"Dawn!" Buffy called as she walked through the front door.

When she heard no reply, she went to open the shades only to have the bright sun glare at her through the windows. She slammed the shades shut and the decided it was safe to venture into the kitchen. She threw her hands o the counter and buried her head in her hands. Buffy thought that things were heading towards the better, but in all honesty, she really didn't know what was going on in her life. Her newfound relationship with Spike was allowing her to forget about all her troubles at home and work. But why Spike? Why couldn't it have been some guy at the Bronze or a co-worker or something? She just had to crawl into bed with the lovesick puppy that tailored to her every whim. Guess it didn't seem like such a bad idea after all.

It was then that Buffy noticed the note that was under her elbows.

'_Hey Buffy,_

_Seems like you had a long night again. I went to the Magic Box so Willow could help me with my math project. I'll be home soon._

_Love you,_

_Dawn'_

Guilt began to settle in as Buffy realized that she had forgotten about Dawn again. She really didn't mean to, but it just kind of happens. Buffy decided that dwelling on that would probably put her in an even worse mood so she decided that drawing a hot bath would help. She crawled up the stairs to the bathroom and turned on the tap. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw a person. A person that she didn't know. The Buffy that she knew was strong, slender, and courageous. But the person before her eyes was weak, bony, and a coward. She peeled off her clothes for the second time and dipped her toes into the water. She let out her breath as the water swelled with warmth and eased her tension away. Her lay back for a minute before her hand went to grab the washcloth. But she consciously pulled her hand back and thought that scrubbing her skin raw wasn't going to be on the agenda tonight. She just wanted to relax and let her worries go down the drain.

**Chapter 4**

Spike casually smoked a cigarette as she sat upon a tombstone. He was sure that Watson Dresko really wouldn't mind taking a rest where, well Watson was taking a rest. They were practically family, and he could completely understand, dead guy to dead guy.

Spike just flicked away his cigarette when a hand shot up from under his boots. Apparently, Watson was done resting.

"How 'bout I give you a hand there, mate?" Spike said and grabbed the fledgling's hand and hoisted him roughly through his own grave.

The stunned vampire landed several feet away and frantically checked all over his body, "I'm alive! I'm alive!" He shouted.

Spike rolled his eyes at the vampire before he strode over to him, stake in hand.

"No, you're dead," He told Watson before he drove the stake through the vampire's heart and all that was left was a pile of dust.

"Stupid fledglings, don't even know what they're talking about," Spike muttered to himself,

"And you do, William the Bloody, master vampire," A voice added.

"Who's there?" Spike called out with his stake poised.

"Easy there," A figure stepped out from the shadows. It was a demon, but it seemed as though a man were hidden underneath. His body was a dark orange and his eyes were blacker than the darkest night. Bumps protruded from his face like large freckles and his teeth were a vicious set, sharp and ready to claw through anything. He was dressed in a crisp pinstriped suit complete with a tie and the dressiest of shoes.

"Krakor, long time, no see," Spike greeted him and placed his stake away in the pocket of his duster.

"Too long, Spike, too long," Krakor agreed as she sat on a tombstone and signaled Spike to do the same, "How many years has it been, Spike? 50? 60?"

"Something like that, yeah," Spike answered as he lit another cigarette, he blew out a steam of white smoke, "What kind of trouble have you been brewing?"

"Not as much trouble as you, I can be sure of. Falling in love with the Slayer? That's more trouble than I've caused in my lifetime." Krakor answered.

Spike continued smoking away, unaffected by the demon's ranting. Krakor noticed this and kept on trudging.

"And killing your own kind, come on. That's not something that you should be proud of. The things that are being said in the community, Spike, it's not all praises." Krakor informed.

"What of it? It's pretty clear that I don't bloody care what you all have to think about me, _mate._" He stressed on the last word.

Krakor raised his hands in surrender, "Easy there, buddy, I'm just saying. But, seriously, don't you miss it? The killing, the feeding," His voice got lower, "The fun."

Spike hesitated. His face contorted in anger and frustration but his mind kept wandering towards the things of his past. He couldn't help but ask himself the same question; did he really miss his days as the vampire he was? But Buffy changed him. She is the reason for the person that he is today. He's stronger and his conscience in much more alive. He feels such strong emotions that he can't even describe. He's half light and half dark. Nothing to him was just black or white.

"I don't miss it," Spike announced, "Because I know I am a better … I am better because of her."

He faltered, what was he, a monster or a man? Was he both? "I don't miss the killing, the feeding or any of that lot. I fight for the good side now. And who says I'm fighting for the wrong side, I was human before, wasn't I?"

"But that's no the point, Spike," Krakor said, "You've let these feelings take over your demon, they're controlling you now, you're not in control of them. You'll always be one of us, Spike, no matter what you say. You'll always have that monster inside of you screaming to come out, but if you keep pushing him away, he'll just get angrier, won't he?"

Spike looked away, Krakor had truth in his word, he always did, "Face it, Spike. You can come back. It's not too late. Just say the word and I'll make it happen. It's what you want, isn't it?"

Thought were now swirling inside Spike's head. He knew he was a changed vampire now; he was fighting on Buffy's side. But his mind kept asking him if that was what he really wanted. Was he just forcing his demon away for love, for a taste of Buffy?

"No, I'm not bleedin' going back," Spike said forcefully, "I'm on the good side now. And that's all that I will be."

Krakor straightened himself out and stood up. His anger was evident on his face. His plan didn't work. Spike was supposed to be convinced but his just wasn't going the way that he thought it was. As a measly vampire, Spike sure had the strength to withstand an Egos demon.

"I thought you would say that," Krakor said and out of nowhere, three demons appeared and grabbed a tight hold onto Spike.

They forced his back down and now he lay on top of the tombstone, back arched painfully. Two demons kept a strong grip on his arms while another had a strange box in its hands.

"What the bloody hell is this, Krakor?" Spike asked with teeth clenched.

Krakor's demeanor changed in an instant, "You disgust me! Betraying your own kind for love. You're a traitor with no boundaries. This isn't the vampire I knew. The vampire I knew destroyed towns in minutes and drained hundreds in seconds. You were great, admired by any. But now you're nothing. It can't get any worse than this. A vampire in love with a slayer. And you've even befriended her friends and family."

Spike struggled at the mention of the people he knew but the demons held him pinned in place.

"How cute," Krakor spat, "Next why don't you save the world and adopt a kitten? Well, I've come to change all of that."

Krakor came over to Spike and looked down upon him, "You see love is a pesky thing. I don't know who came up with it. But, anyway, where does love come from, Spike?"

When Spike refused to answer, Krakor placed a foot roughly down on Spike's neck. His shiny black shoes dug into Spike's throat, threatening to crush Spike's windpipe.

"H-heart," Spike managed to whisper.

"Very good! Any poet would have known that, now isn't that right?" Krakor said with an evil glint in his eyes.

Spike's eyes flashed gold as he started to lose his temper and control.

"Down boy, not so fast, we're not done yet," Krakor said as he noticed Spike's reaction, "Now, if love resides in the heart, and the heart resides in the body, how do we get hat love out of the body?"

Spike's eyes widened as the realization of what Krakor was intending to do. And all Krakor did was smile. Spike struggled to say something but Krakor's foot was too tight. Krakor saw this and lifted his foot, ever so slightly to let the vampire speak.

"I thought you were my friend," Spike said hoarsely.

Krakor craned his head over Spike's face and sneered, "I was, until you fell in love."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 5**

Front flip. Back flip. Front, back, rodeo, quick turn and catch.

"Yes!" Buffy shouted as she totally delivered on the most difficult of stake maneuvering tricks in the air.

"Kind of dead tonight, huh, Mr. Pointy?" She asked the inanimate object and her trusty friend.

She sighed as her arms fell back into rhythm at her sides and continued on her completely uneventful patrol. Her life was finally getting back on track once again. Buffy was getting closer than ever before to Xander and Willow and everything just seemed like it was falling back into place. Things at the DoubleMeat Palace were even getting better. She was actually enjoying her work now that the she got promoted to assistant manager of the fast food joint. Yeah, she couldn't believe it herself. Maybe after a little while she could get a better job, maybe something not involving double reheated burgers.

But why was she still going back to Spike? She knew she deserved more than him, she didn't need another vampire in her life, not again. Buffy had to admit the sex was amazing, but was that all she was using him for? Was she using him just to make herself feel better? Did she still need to feel any better now that things were going so well? She had so many questions swirling around in her head that it was no surprise that she found herself standing in front of Spike's crypt, eyes gawking at the dark building. Her face scrunched in, thinking of what she should do. To go or not to go? She mentally went over the pros and cons of the situation and tried to make it in a rational manner.

"Oh what the hell," Buffy exclaimed as she went over to open the door, not even thinking about giving it a knock before entering, "He probably already knows I'm here already, stupid vampire smelly abilities."

She slowly walked into the crypt with a small hope that he didn't know that she was here, but he always knew. She was one in a million, and of course she stuck out like a sore thumb, slayer and all.

"Spike?" She called out cautiously.

The crypt was dark and dank, but it seemed more so than usual. She walked around the place to find the candles unlit, TV off, and the makeshift home silent as can be.

"He must be out on patrol," Buffy said as she checked her watch. 9:30pm, it was still early.

And she set out to find her, uh, to find a vampire. She swiftly exited the crypt with ease, due to much practice, and the door shut with a satisfying clang behind her.

"Where to start?" She said as she placed her hands on her hips, "See, this is where that vampire smell or hearing thing would come in handy."

As if on cue, Buffy heard a scream from not too far off. Her instincts kicked in and the slayer sprang into action. Her legs kept a rhythm of one after the other bringing her closer and closer to her destination. Arms pumped at her sides, urging her to move faster. Buffy found herself in an alley, a crowd of vampires surrounding an unknown target.

"If I knew I was going to a party, I would've dressed for the occasion," Buffy quipped before all the vampires turned to look at their unexpected visitor.

"Slayer!" one of them growled.

"Wow! You got it on the first try! And they say your brain starts rotting after you're dead," Buffy retorted before leaping into action, Mr. Pointy in hand. She caught the lapel of one of the vampires and swung him backwards towards her. Unexpectedly, the others just fled, along with the victim in the opposite direction. Usually, they wanted to fight, try and see who could last the longest before she sent them to their dusty destiny.

"Looks like your friends left you all by yourself. Good, that gives us more private time," Buffy told her opponent.

"Private time? How private?" The vampire said as he licked his fangs.

Buffy promptly kneed him where the sun didn't shine, "That's about as private as we're going to get."

The vampire doubled over before regaining a small bit of composure and groaned, "Sure like to play rough, don't you Slayer?"

"It depends," She replied with a glint in her eye, "Who do you play for?"

"Who said I was on someone's team?" The vampire innocently answered.

Buffy yanked on the vampire's collar for emphasis, "I doubt it takes five vamps to take down a measly human, unless you're not all you're cracked up to be."

"Looks like you haven't lost any of your brain cells either, Slayer," he drawled.

Buffy replied with a quick head butt to the back of his head and followed up with a couple of kicks and punches to prove her point. She pushed him back into a corner and poised the stake at the heart, hand at his throat.

"Now I'm going to ask you this nicely, one more time. Who do you work for?" Buffy threatened.

"What's in it for me?" He asked as he roamed his eyes over her.

She didn't miss a beat or a look before she got in good and close to him and whispered in his ear, "Have you ever had a taste of a slayer?"

He shook his head, wide-eyed, and she continued, "It's like nothing else you've ever tasted before. A drop could make the greatest go crazy, the smooth coppery blood slides down your throat, heating your body up like you're on fire. Then it devours your body in pleasure as it drives you to ecstasy and back, over and over again. Do you want to feel it? Do you want a taste?"

Her voice sent shivers down the vampire's spine, bloodlust taking over his body. She kept her gaze on the vampire, knowing the wheels were turning in this head.

"You know you want it. And all you have to do is tell me who you work for and you can be one of the few who have tasted a slayer." Buffy huskily urged her captive.

The vampire grazed his tongue over his fangs and slid it over his lips, thoughts consuming his undead mind, "Spike."

Now it was Buffy's turn to be wide-eyed. Her befuddled gaze bore into the one in her custody and he continued, "He said you were good, but he never said you were this good."

"What are you talking about?" Buffy quickly asked.

"All sexily whispering in my ear, you must've done him real good; couldn't stop bragging about it. Finally got a piece of your hot–"

He never got to finish his sentence as a stake pierced his heart and sent his remains into the wind. Buffy put a sweaty hand to her head to try and gather her thoughts. Was Spike spilling their secrets to the vampire community? This was humiliating. The one person that she thought she could trust was throwing around their sexcapades like a cheap soap opera. Wait, she could trust Spike? The thought of Spike boasting about their relationship made her sick. What if her friends found out about this? This whole situation was just not good. And the vampire said that he was working for Spike. Could that be true as well? All of this was just playing games with Buffy's mind and she needed to clear it up, and that fast. So, she decided that she would go to the one person that could do it. With her resolve face in place and a strong stride, she stomped her way back to her previous destination. To see a vampire.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 6**

Buffy walked to the edge of the alleyway and took a deep, well-needed breath. She tried to calm her racing mind and just think. She needed to find Spike and figure everything out. She was running on adrenaline and went where her body took her. Her legs were pumping away with all their might once again but this time her destination surprised her. She came to an almost screeching halt in front of Spike's crypt; back to square one as they say. She took a long, hard look at the crypt, suspicious and weary of her unconscious decision to come back here. What caught her eye was the crypt door, slightly ajar with light squeezing through the tiny crack. Without hesitating, she swung open the door and made her presence known

"Spike!" She called out into the now fully lit crypt with candles aplenty. "Spike!"

A platinum head rose from beneath the ground as he ascended the stairs from the lower level. A look f concern shrouded his face as his body went to meet the frazzled slayer that just burst through his door.

"Don't take a damn step closer!" She warned as her body prepared for attack.

"Love, what's going on? Is everything alright?" Spike asked after he stopped dead in his tracks.

"Tell me the truth!" Buffy ordered with Mr. Pointy firmly in her grasp.

"The truth about what, pet? What are you getting at?" He replied with confusion as he studied her reaction with an intent stare.

"You're evil again, aren't you? A stupid vampire told me so. Tell me, Spike! Tell me," Buffy rambled as her grip on her favorite stake began to stumble and as the anger and confusion made her shudder.

Spike cautiously took a step forward and stepped clearly into the candlelight. His clear alabaster skin glowed under a maroon button up that he wore unbuttoned, of course. Classic black jeans hugged his legs as the button on those too weren't left to do their job. He was perfect; down to his hear feet which kissed the ground with every step he took towards the slayer.

He slowly enveloped her in a hug, she fumbled a bit at first but she gradually settled into him as he whispered soothing nothings into her ear. His hands ran calming paces over her hair and she was finally able to calm down after a few minutes.

"They said they were working for you when I found some vamps attacked someone. They said they knew about us," Buffy admitted.

"Do you always believe what people tell you, love?" Spike calmly asked as he cupped her head in his hands.

Her big eyes gazed back at him as she shook her head no. Suddenly, she realized what a vulnerable state she was in and quickly exited from Spike's cold, yet comforting arms. He let her go immediately and laughed as she made the realization. He raised a hand once again, but only to comfort himself as he rested it on the back of his neck.

"Cuz bloody hell, it would be a travesty if you were concerned for me," Spike retorted.

"Shut up, Spike," Buffy said as she gained some composure.

"Come by for your fix and come to find that your little puppy has run off," He continued, "Well, now you've found me, we gonna get to shaggin' or what?"

Buffy's face filled with shock as she listened to his words. She was using him for her own pleasures. And he knew it. He must have known it from the beginning. Guilt began to overcome her as the weight of the situation was just thrown onto her shoulders. Ever since he had come back, she didn't feel like herself. She just needed something to make her feel alive, like everything was ok. Being with him did that for Buffy. Nothing mattered except exactly what was going on between them. No vampires, no demons, no nothing. But now that things were so much better, why did she keep coming back to him?

"You know, I've had a rough day, nothing a good shag couldn't fix," He continued as he stepped towards Buffy again. His arms grasped onto her arms and his head ducked in towards her awaiting ear.

"I love it when you beg for it, scream my name, wrap your tight little frame in my sheets. And I know how much you love it, too, Slayer," His deep voice hummed.

Her face was tinged a slight shade of pink as she squirmed in his arms, not finding as much comfort in them as she did before. But his grip was not going to loosen up any time soon.

"Did I ever tell you that you're the first slayer that I've ever laid?" Spike kept telling her, "Don't you feel lucky?"

"Spike," Buffy tried to say with resolve but it only came out a mere whimper.

"There's always a little bad in the good. And I can just taste it every time we–"

Spike was abruptly interrupted by a fuming slayer as she shoved him away from her. Her disgust has gotten the best of her and put the distance between them. Spike's almost maniacal laughter bounced off the walls as he stumbled a few steps back.

"You're a pig," She spat.

Spike's laughter subsided, "Oink, oink, baby," he said as he opened his arms and welcomed the insult.

But Buffy's eyes were distracted as they widened at the sight, "What happened to you?" she gasped as she took an unconscious step forward.

What she saw was his bare chest, exposed as his maroon button-up had slid away from his chest. His milky skin was clouded by a series of precise half-healed scars, colored an angry red. Three slices shaped a large upside down "Y" and spanned almost his entire upper left torso. A splatter of burns also covered his body as if someone had sprinkled drops of holy water all over his delicate skin. Her body yearned to touch him and make sure everything was alright, but she controlled herself, at least tried to.

"Concerned?" Spike pinpointed the exact emotion that was flowing through her veins.

Buffy's body once again assumed itself ready for battled. She stood her ground, but didn't bother to raise her hands in defense.

"Who would've thought that the killer of slayers would become the slayer's little bitch? Ole' Spikey's gone soft, got the hots for the slayer," He told her mockingly and quickly stalked over to her in the blink of an eye and pressed his body upon hers.

She stood tall against him, unaffected by his near presence and refused to back down. Her angry face met his menacing one. What caught her off guard was a rough hand to the back of her head that clutched her hair in an unyielding clench and another to her arm. Her body refused to move, to fight back, as her face was forced dangerously near his. His once caressing lips, now brutally smashed against hers in a bruising kiss. His hands didn't allow her the slightest bit of movement, she was trapped, nowhere to go except where he wanted to. He pulled her head back once more to look at her face, savoring the lingering taste of the slayer. He saw anger, disgust, and hurt written all over her pretty features as she panted for air.

His tight grip on her arm loosened and made its way up to her face. Buffy grunted and struggled but it was no use. His hand met her face with the lightest of touches, drifting over the tan skin of her forehead to her cheeks and rested down to cup her cheek. He leaned in close again, his chiseled cheek against hers.

He whispered into her ear with a low rumble, "Spike hasn't gone even again, love," he slid his tongue over her jugular, pumping ever so rapidly and gave it a blunt nip with his bare teeth, "He always was."


End file.
